The element song
by barbequed hamster
Summary: The doctor knows the element song!


**This is dedicated to Eleanor Strutt who showed me the element song. Thank you! There are a few mistakes about Harvard, such as I don't know if it has a ****reception (?), or where Tom Lehrer's room was etc. But we can all pretend, can't we?**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Dr who OR the element song, but if I did…well!**

The element song

"Okay Rose, pick a date. Any date"

"Um…I dunno, 1959."

"What happens in 1959?"

"I don't know lets find out" she tutted.

"Country?"

"America."

"Righty ho... remind me not to say that in the future." He flicked a switch, pulled a gear and the TARDIS was sent spinning off into America in 1959.

DRWHODRWHO

"A moment later, they were standing outside the red brick walls of an enormous building.

"Looks like Harvard." Rose commented.

"It is Harvard."

"Oh, well figures then."

"Let's go in." the Doctor grinned.

"Why. Who do you know who went to Harvard in 1959?"

"You'll see" he said with a smug smile.

They entered the building and went over to the receptionist.

"Hello" she said brightly. "May I help you?"

"Yes, actually, I'm looking for a Tom Lehrer. I met him recently."

"He should be in his room. Go through that door, up the stairs and turn left, down the corridor, and his room is 37A.

"Thanks. C'mon Rose."

"Who the hell is Tom Lehrer?" asked Rose, once they had gone trough the door. The doctor didn't reply. The continued the Receptionists instructions, and found the door.

"Ready" The Doctor questioned, waggling his eyebrows.

"For what?"

The doctor just knocked on the door.

"Come in." the voice had a thick, New York accent.

"Hello, you won't know us, but I had heard about you from one of your friends who said that you were great at making up scientific comical songs."

"Really oh. Was it Erik?" Tom Lehrer looked puzzled.

Yeah."

"By the way, I'm Rose, an' this is… John Smith."

"Nice to meet you."

The Doctor walked forwards, a huge grin on his face. "The thing is, we wanted to listen to the element song."

Tom looked puzzled.

"Y'know, '_There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,  
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,  
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,  
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,  
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,  
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,  
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium," _the Doctor paused to take a breath, and then continued "_And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium."_

He stopped and grinned and Rose and Tom Lehrer whose mouths were hanging wide open. The grinned changed into a sheepish one.

"Oops. Rose, I may have just invented the element song early. Rose? Rose you there?" he waved a hand in front of her face, and she blinked slowly. She knew the Doctor could talk quickly, but….the words then were coming out of his mouth at the speed of light.

"I can continue if you want? '_There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,  
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,  
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,  
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.' _Dodo, dodo, dodo ding_,"_ he mimed playing the piano, before breathing in again.

"_There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,  
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,  
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,  
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.  
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,  
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,  
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium...  
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium."_

"I need to sit down" Rose moaned, sinking in to an armchair.

"_There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,  
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,  
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,  
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium." _The Doctor grinned wickedly, a mad glint in his eye.

"_These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,  
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discovered." _He finished, not out of breath at all.

"That was just"... Lehrer trailed off.

"I told you I was a fan. I must teach you that someday Rose." He chuckled as her mouth opened and shut like a fish.

"Anyway, nice meeting you. Oh, and don't worry, I've a printed copy here, along with the tune. Just write it out in your own handwriting and call it yours. Make sure you do mind, otherwise it will open a rift. See ya." Taking Rose by the hand, he led her back out of the room, down the corridor and the stairs, through the door, past the receptionist and into the TARDIS where Rose had to lie down for several hours.

G

**Reviews are appreciated, thank you! You can access a flash version of this at **


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